Motivation is not a personality trait: 5 Techniques to reframe and improve motivation

[Photo courtesy of Tetyana Kovyrina via Pexels]

If you’ve read a job advertisement or scrolled through Instagram recently, you’re probably familiar with the term ‘a motivated individual’. Whilst I can’t speak on behalf of the recruitment industry or influencers, ‘motivated’ does appear to have become one of the latest buzzwords.

But, dear reader, there’s a problem – motivation is not a personality trait. Instead, it’s an internal driving force that helps us to drive towards and complete our goals. And here’s the key: it’s often influenced by external factors.  If we acknowledge this fact and start reflecting on what flicks our personal motivational switches on (and maybe even more importantly, off) then we’re a step further towards reaching the goals we want to achieve.

Here are five techniques to help you top up your motivational tank and transform “I can’t” into “I will”.

1.       Question your inner perfectionist

As a wellbeing coach, I’ve seen so many instances where perfectionism negatively impacts motivation.

Why? Because despite what you might instinctively believe, perfection doesn’t exist very often. It’s like a constantly moving goal post where even if you achieve what you initially thought was perfect, you simply look for ways to make it more perfect. And this quest for perfection can make you feel as though your goals are unattainable and out of reach. If you doubt you can achieve your goal, it’s little wonder that you feel no motivation to begin your journey towards it.

So, instead of just accepting that something feels impossible, question your inner perfectionist. Ask:

Is it really all-or-nothing? What could success look like instead of perfection?

This piece of self-reflection can often help you find or regain that motivation, even when it feels like it’s deserted you.

2.       Know your why

If you’ve read my previous blog post about people pleasing, you’ll know that it’s essential to understand your values and why they matter to you. Personally, I think reflecting on your values should be something that we encourage everyone to do because our values underpin all our decisions and (yep, you guessed it!) impact our motivation.

Your motivation should always connect to your values in some way and if it doesn’t, you should ask yourself why. Could you be feeling de-motivated because what you’re trying to do goes against your values? Why do you really want to achieve your goals? Understanding your ‘why’ can sometimes help you find that spark of motivation you need to keep pushing forward.

I do want to add a little caveat in here though. I’m human and I understand that some of the tasks you’ll be struggling to find motivation for are life’s more mundane offerings (give me a Netflix marathon over folding the laundry any day of the week!) and reasoning with yourself that folding the laundry conflicts with your values probably isn’t going to fly. For smaller tasks like these, a connection to your values might not be immediately obvious but it will be there. Maybe you value having clear space and clearing the laundry away would help with this.

3.       Aim small

The culture we seem to have of creating five-year plans and bucket lists doesn’t do motivation any good. Despite them being touted as tools to improve your motivation, I tend to find that they actually do the opposite. I speak to lots of people that feel so overwhelmed by the scale of their goals that they don’t know where to start and their motivation quickly drains away.

The thought of “buying a house by 2031” creates anxiety because there are simply too many unknowns that they can’t control. Will they still have the same job by 2031? What will the housing market look like by then? Will they have any extra commitments? With so many holes in the plan (if you can even call it that!) where the heck are you meant to find the motivation from?!

Contrast this with creating a goal to “save £300 for the next three months to help contribute towards future housing costs”. The goal seems smaller and much more manageable. You can adapt it to changes in circumstances and you don’t need to worry about the things you can’t control. Already, that motivation is much easier to find.

Both approaches contribute towards the same goal, but the second one helps you to maintain motivation and stops you feeling overwhelmed.

4.       Set yourself up for success

Trust me, I know it can be easy to think that you’re setting yourself up to fail. It’s so simple to fall into the mindset of ‘if I’m going to fail anyway, what’s the point in setting the goal anyway?’ Creating a list of reasons not to do something can often feel like you’re preserving yourself from the unpleasant feelings that come from not achieving it. But what if we flipped this logic on its head?

Reframe those thoughts by asking yourself two questions: ‘is that true?’ and ‘where did the idea come from?’

This is a good way to challenge your ways of thinking and understand where your motivation comes from at the same time.

Imagine you wanted to learn an instrument, but you dismiss the idea by telling yourself that learning instruments is only for children. By asking yourself whether it’s true, you’re immediately challenging your thoughts. The truth is that anyone of any age can learn an instrument, not just children in classrooms (or in the spare bedroom as you’re trying to work!)

Next, understanding where the idea came from will help you to understand your underlying motivation. Maybe you want to learn it to join the local practice group and find a new way of socialising. Suddenly, this idea that you’ve dismissed out of hand becomes something you feel motivated to put into action and that can only be a good thing.

5. Practice self-care

The final technique rolls up everything I’ve said so far into a nice neat package. Motivation isn’t something that’s binary, either on or off. I like to think of it like a fuel tank in a car. Sometimes your motivation tank is full, and sometimes it’s empty. As you use more of your motivation, the tank is constantly fluctuating and occasionally needs to be refilled. Just like on the motorway, fuel isn’t always available instantly and you might have to wait a little while until you pass a fuel station.

Motivation isn’t something that’s available on tap and it’s not a failure to lose it. Be kind to yourself and not critical in these situations and practice some self-care to help you process your emotions. It’s easier to regain your mojo in the face of kindness than in the face of frustration.

If you'd like some support in understanding how to boost or regain your motivation, book a FREE, no-obligation consultation with me.

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